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I have been an insomniac for a long time.
Blame all the films I have on my laptop,or Texas Hold ‘Em Poker, or occasionally even work.
2 nights ago, I slept for 16 hours. It felt like the world had changed.
But today, it’s 4.18 A.M., and I just succumbed to the lure of Twilight. Yes, I finally saw it.
I’m sorry, emo teenage girl, it is a retarded stupid film.
To think I wasted my precious whaling-away-time on you.
Any ideas on what could get me to sleep?
Tomorrow is technically the beginning of my 3-day weekend, but I have to be at the Journalism Department by 1.00 P.M. to edit my TV package. Wish me luck!
The night will hopefully bring an interesting experience at the LGBT Society’s Climax party. Fie if you don’t know what that acronym stands for.
On tangent, read the post below this one, and tell me..what would YOU buy?


In the bathroom of the Varisty pub on West Street, Sheffield. I found a machine which dispenses the following.
The pictures speak for themselves.
Apologies for the poor quality.

Exhibit A: The jumping pecker. “Wind me up and watch me go”

Exhibit B: Flashing Nipples. “Brings new meaning to flashing the lads”

Exhibit C: Devil’s Surprise- Mystery Box. At least 3 items!

Exhibit D: Sticky Willy. :\

Exhibit E: Glow-doms. “Condoms that glow in the dark.”

Exhibit F: Vibrating Ring. “For Triple Pleasure.” Free condom included!

Exhibit G: Refillable lighter. “With naughty chat-up lines.”

And finally… *drumroll*

Old Faithful!

Exhibit H: Vibrator. “Quality Smooth Metallic Vibration.”

..and to think that all I really wanted to do was pee.

I have begun to get seriously worried about some e-mails I have been receiving.
No, thank you very much, but I do NOT want to increase the size of my penis by 3 inches, oh Amanda XxX, whoever you may be.
I am a woman…Ask Maya Angelou.

Dear God,
Please, please don’t let me die of this cough.
I promise I won’t smoke so much.
I don’t want to carry cough syrup around like a homeless person.

My first wrap for a radio bulletin.
Done on November 5th, 2009.